Who Am I?
I am loving every minute of this, even though I haven't been myself in over a week.
I am now a person that is nauseous about 90% of the day, tired, lethargic, disgusted by all food except pizza, bagels and cookies-- and when I eat these items, it's no more that a few bites before I feel so bloated. I have thrown up- once- at work. I am boring. I don't want to do anything but lay on the couch and veg. I don't want to see anyone because besides the constant nausea and exhaustion, none of our friends know and it's so hard to pretend nothing is going on. These are my typical conversations with people:
Them: "So what new with you?"
Me: "Nothing, just working, you know, the usual... how about YOU?
And there it is.
I must come across so dull! Little do they know there is a life inside of me growing (G-d willing) and I am entering my third month (a little over 8 weeks now)!!!
But I am loving this all....
Despite the fact that I physically feel sick, I am beyond thrilled with every wave of nausea, with every yawn that comes out of my mouth, with every moment I am faced with making a food decision and nothing appeals to me. I was ecstatic when I threw up the other day. Because it means that something is going on in there, it must mean that my little is growing strong, right?
It's amazing to me that as horrible and painful as this journey to get pregnant has been for me, it has made these moments so precious and I am so grateful for all of this. I look at women I know that have gotten pregnant easily and I remember their constant complaining about the nausea, etc. and it angers me. How dare anyone complain?!!! Women who get pregnant easily have no idea how lucky they are -- how much they take for granted disgusts me. Perhaps I am being harsh, but being in this place right now has made me think more, and I have learned all too well that being pregnant is a gift and I am thankful for every minute of it.
Please please please, just keep growing strong, make me nauseous, make me gag, make me sleepy, bring it all on-- I want to feel it all-- because in the end, it will be so incredibly worth it....
I am now a person that is nauseous about 90% of the day, tired, lethargic, disgusted by all food except pizza, bagels and cookies-- and when I eat these items, it's no more that a few bites before I feel so bloated. I have thrown up- once- at work. I am boring. I don't want to do anything but lay on the couch and veg. I don't want to see anyone because besides the constant nausea and exhaustion, none of our friends know and it's so hard to pretend nothing is going on. These are my typical conversations with people:
Them: "So what new with you?"
Me: "Nothing, just working, you know, the usual... how about YOU?
And there it is.
I must come across so dull! Little do they know there is a life inside of me growing (G-d willing) and I am entering my third month (a little over 8 weeks now)!!!
But I am loving this all....
Despite the fact that I physically feel sick, I am beyond thrilled with every wave of nausea, with every yawn that comes out of my mouth, with every moment I am faced with making a food decision and nothing appeals to me. I was ecstatic when I threw up the other day. Because it means that something is going on in there, it must mean that my little is growing strong, right?
It's amazing to me that as horrible and painful as this journey to get pregnant has been for me, it has made these moments so precious and I am so grateful for all of this. I look at women I know that have gotten pregnant easily and I remember their constant complaining about the nausea, etc. and it angers me. How dare anyone complain?!!! Women who get pregnant easily have no idea how lucky they are -- how much they take for granted disgusts me. Perhaps I am being harsh, but being in this place right now has made me think more, and I have learned all too well that being pregnant is a gift and I am thankful for every minute of it.
Please please please, just keep growing strong, make me nauseous, make me gag, make me sleepy, bring it all on-- I want to feel it all-- because in the end, it will be so incredibly worth it....
posted by Here I am @ 3:55 PM
8 Comments:
At 4:34 PM ,
LifeHopes said...
I think that your attitude is great. I agree with you- it is difficult to have sympathy on those who complain all the time about a pregnancy that came so easily.
I can only pray that I too will be able to maintain such a perspective of gratitude when the time comes for me.
At 7:48 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Well, I am sorry that you are feeling so sick and tired but I am glad that you are enjoying every minute of it! How exciting to know you are finally getting close to the "safe" zone. I still keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
At 8:56 AM ,
Gemini Girl said...
Even though I have also been on the IF journey- I am a big complaner! Hope your little one is doing well!
At 12:45 PM ,
Christy said...
I am so happy for you that you are so sick and tired! You've waited a long time for this! Wishing you continued blessings . ..
At 10:50 AM ,
Anns said...
I am SOOOOOOOOO happy that you're enjoying this!!! Yay.....
Grow baby, grow!
Anns xo
At 11:17 AM ,
One View said...
Despite the pain of IF, its so nice to see posts like this. It just makes the pain and suffering all worth it. I look forward to the day I can say the same thing. I think its great how grateful you are and how much you are enjoying every moment of pregnancy.
At 5:36 AM ,
Secret D said...
Good to hear that things are going well and that you are facing all the pregnancy symptons with such a positive attitude.
4 more weeks and you can breath a huge sigh of relief as you leave the dreaded first trimester and head into the more acceptable and relaxed second trimester.
I'm really happy for you.
At 12:21 PM ,
Natalie said...
This is exactly the perspective I hope to have one day - to relish in it cuz it took this long so why not! Hope you feel better though:-)
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