Is It Friday Yet?

I am such a mess- a bunch of nerves.

Went for my first obgyn appointment yesterday. I am only in my 4th week of pregnancy, so at this point the doc could only see my nice thick uterine lining and she said that means my uterus is preparing itself to keep our "little" safe and sound for the next nine months. She reassured me that this is what she should be seeing. (I was hoping there would be a visible sac but she said that is usually seen between week 5-6.) Okay. Fine.

My first beta is in and it's at 240 and my progesterone is over 20. Doc said numbers look great and are normal (I googled this and I am right within range for week 4 of pregnancy). I am going back tomorrow morning for my second beta and I pray the numbers keep rising.

I want it to be Friday so then at least the numbers will be in, and hopefully everything will be normal. And I will be able to enjoy this part at least until my first real ultra sound- which is on August 13th. Please G-d let there be a healthy heartbeat this time around....

I went for acupuncture today and my acupuncturist was so happy for me. In a way I feel like SHE is the one that got me pregnant. Dave? Dave who? Ha ha. Kidding of course. But still I have to say that it took me 11 months of natural trying, 3 medicated IUIs and nothing. As soon as I start acupuncture- boom- pregnant twice in 7 months - naturally both times. There's gotta be a connection.

Anyway I will continue with the acupuncture until there is a heartbeat. And until then there is nothing more I can do. I so want to enjoy this right now, but it's much harder than I thought. Hey, three months ago I was on the toilet expelling what was supposed to be our child. It's pretty hard right now to sit back and relax. I hope and pray that in time that I will start to enjoy this and soak it all in because after all the heartache, I deserve to feel this joy. I'm just not ready yet.

I just SO want this to be IT for us. Please G-d let it be.