And Life Goes On...

We came home last night from our week on Cape Cod.

It was a really wonderful trip. The weather was perfect; the sun shining, cool breeze in the background. We were surrounded by lush landscapes and clear blue water; crisp and alive.

Our favorite day was the day spent on Nantucket Island. It is a gorgeous place, wild flowers growing along the sand dunes and the most beautiful green blue water, the color so pure and calming, it was like holding a turquoise stone in your hand and feeling its smooth texture-- this was what that water was like. The waves crashing in front of us while we sat under our new umbrella with the green flowers and I in my new turquoise bikini matching that gorgeous water. And Dave, my amazing husband, kind and gentle-- just enjoying life, as he always manages to do even when he shouldn't be able to. And me--- well, I did my best to keep life in perspective and remind myself of that hope I carry around with me in my back pocket.

My period came the night we arrived and I cried and cried. I cried into the next day and then cried some more after that. I didn't think that would happen. This was our first time trying since the miscarriage and I thought I would be okay if my period came. But I wasn't. The fear of wondering if we were back on that horrible, horrible year long journey of trying was in full swing and I was/am hating it.

By the third day I pulled that hope out of my back pocket and it's here with me right now slowly creeping its way back into my heart.

I have hope because I have no other choice.

So life goes on and we begin again, and for this I am ALWAYS thankful.