Confusion & Fear
Well we went to a new RE this weekend.
He is definitely different from the others I've been to and the ones I've read about. He is extremely personable, attentive, not rushed, looks at me as me and not as though I am like every woman that is having problems conceiving. He does not believe that fertility drugs are for everyone and most important-- he does not accept the diagnosis of unexplained infertility. He believes that everything comes from something and at my age, it should not have taken me 11 months to conceive. Well... OK.
After we spoke for over an hour, we decided that Dave needs to go to a urologist and have a full checkup-- even though he already did the sperm analysis (and everything was fine), this RE felt that it's not enough information and should go for a full exam. So Dave agreed, why not, right?
Then we decided that if I get my period this month, he will do a slew of blood tests that will look further into whether or not my issue is egg quality-- he explained there are blood tests done throughout the course of a cycle. I think I've only ever had blood drawn on day 3 and possibly after ovulation-- but I don't remember anymore.
However-- now this plan may change....
After we spoke he did an tranvaginal ultra sound on me (boy, have I missed those!). This was day 15 of my cycle and sure enough I had a nice big follicle ready for release any minute in my right ovary... (good thing because my ovulation kit did give me a smiley face the day before indicating an LH surge and we were baby dancing quite a bit this weekend)...
But then he moved to the LEFT ovary and suddenly he seemed to notice something. He saw that my left ovary was too close to my uterus, like it was practically plastered onto it. He thinks there is scar tissue there causing this and he believes that this could be a big part of why it took me a while to get pregnant. My right ovary is in the correct place, however given that the left one is so close to the uterus, it might be taking longer for the sperm and egg to meet, and possibly hurting my chances of getting pregnant whenever I ovulate from that ovary. This is HIS thought.
WHAT??? I must have had at least 25 ultra sounds in the past year and no one ever mentioned the positioning of my ovary being a problem. However, I have noticed when they moved that ultra sound stick in me, they do have a to struggle a bit to get to the left ovary. But no one ever said it was a problem....
So I'm freaking out a bit.
The RE wants me to go to get a second opinion with a world renown specialist in tranvaginal ultrasounds (which also happens to be the same place where I went to have the viability scan that showed no fetal heartbeat when I was pregnant in April-- yay).
So I have an appointment for this Wednesday. I am taking the day off because I am SO scared. If the second opinion believes this should be fixed and it will help me get pregnant than I have to go in for a laparoscopy and remove the scar tissue. I have never had any kind of surgery and I am so scared, the thought of it makes me nauseous, in fact I haven't eaten since yesterday because I am so nervous.
David reminds me that while it does suck that I may have to have this (very common) surgery, it could very well be the solution to our problem... The other piece of good news is that this cycle I ovulated from my right ovary which is in its normal position-- so maybe I won't need any of this (yeah right, not feeling too positive these days).
So we basically need to confirm that this is the case and if so, will it increase my chances of getting pregnant?
Overall I feel pretty low, even though maybe I should be happy, because we might have a problem that can be fixed and lead to everything we have dreamed of. But I don't want any problems like this. I want to get pregnant easily like everyone else in my life and have a healthy baby. I am sick of this crap and just want a normal life.
He is definitely different from the others I've been to and the ones I've read about. He is extremely personable, attentive, not rushed, looks at me as me and not as though I am like every woman that is having problems conceiving. He does not believe that fertility drugs are for everyone and most important-- he does not accept the diagnosis of unexplained infertility. He believes that everything comes from something and at my age, it should not have taken me 11 months to conceive. Well... OK.
After we spoke for over an hour, we decided that Dave needs to go to a urologist and have a full checkup-- even though he already did the sperm analysis (and everything was fine), this RE felt that it's not enough information and should go for a full exam. So Dave agreed, why not, right?
Then we decided that if I get my period this month, he will do a slew of blood tests that will look further into whether or not my issue is egg quality-- he explained there are blood tests done throughout the course of a cycle. I think I've only ever had blood drawn on day 3 and possibly after ovulation-- but I don't remember anymore.
However-- now this plan may change....
After we spoke he did an tranvaginal ultra sound on me (boy, have I missed those!). This was day 15 of my cycle and sure enough I had a nice big follicle ready for release any minute in my right ovary... (good thing because my ovulation kit did give me a smiley face the day before indicating an LH surge and we were baby dancing quite a bit this weekend)...
But then he moved to the LEFT ovary and suddenly he seemed to notice something. He saw that my left ovary was too close to my uterus, like it was practically plastered onto it. He thinks there is scar tissue there causing this and he believes that this could be a big part of why it took me a while to get pregnant. My right ovary is in the correct place, however given that the left one is so close to the uterus, it might be taking longer for the sperm and egg to meet, and possibly hurting my chances of getting pregnant whenever I ovulate from that ovary. This is HIS thought.
WHAT??? I must have had at least 25 ultra sounds in the past year and no one ever mentioned the positioning of my ovary being a problem. However, I have noticed when they moved that ultra sound stick in me, they do have a to struggle a bit to get to the left ovary. But no one ever said it was a problem....
So I'm freaking out a bit.
The RE wants me to go to get a second opinion with a world renown specialist in tranvaginal ultrasounds (which also happens to be the same place where I went to have the viability scan that showed no fetal heartbeat when I was pregnant in April-- yay).
So I have an appointment for this Wednesday. I am taking the day off because I am SO scared. If the second opinion believes this should be fixed and it will help me get pregnant than I have to go in for a laparoscopy and remove the scar tissue. I have never had any kind of surgery and I am so scared, the thought of it makes me nauseous, in fact I haven't eaten since yesterday because I am so nervous.
David reminds me that while it does suck that I may have to have this (very common) surgery, it could very well be the solution to our problem... The other piece of good news is that this cycle I ovulated from my right ovary which is in its normal position-- so maybe I won't need any of this (yeah right, not feeling too positive these days).
So we basically need to confirm that this is the case and if so, will it increase my chances of getting pregnant?
Overall I feel pretty low, even though maybe I should be happy, because we might have a problem that can be fixed and lead to everything we have dreamed of. But I don't want any problems like this. I want to get pregnant easily like everyone else in my life and have a healthy baby. I am sick of this crap and just want a normal life.
So this is my life, and right now we are in full swing here on this roller coaster ride and I would do anything to get off...
posted by Here I am @ 11:44 AM
4 Comments:
At 2:51 PM ,
Natalie said...
Your new doc sounds awesome and if you need to get a laparoscopy, lemme know and we can email about it if you have questions - I can give you just one girl's story. I had one and it's not as horrible as you'd think.
Good luck with the next appointment. Hang in there.
At 3:14 PM ,
Anonymous said...
It sounds as if you have a great plan of action! I am so excited for you. I'll have enough excitement for you until you are ready to be excited too!
I have had a laperoscopy and a hysteroscopy and I can tell you they are a piece of cake. Nothing to worry about at all! I was up and about the day after surgery. I'm sure you'll be fine. I can give you all the details if you want, just let me know.
Good luck!!!
At 3:17 PM ,
Laura, the (reluctant) baroness said...
That's one of the hardes things about IF - you want an answer, but you don't want there to be a problem. It's tough. Hopefully, though, they'll shed some light on what is going on and make the whole process easier on you in the long run. Best of luck!
At 4:30 PM ,
Christy said...
Those of us with unexplained infertility frequently ask the question "Why". Why us? Why is there a problem? Why can't anyone give us an answer? Why isn't this working? Why can't I get pregnant? Try to embrace the opportunity for an answer, even though you are scared. I will continue to pray for you, and with any luck you won't need any further intervention!
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