10 Weeks

Maya is 10 weeks today!

She is weighing about 11 pounds and measuring 23 inches! She was 7 lbs. 4 oz. and measured 19.5 inches when she was born. So she's a grow'in! : )

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Some thoughts right now in my head:

I am lonely.

As much as I love being a mother and a stay at home mom, it is an adjustment. I long for adult conversations. I have worked for many years and had one of those high-powered PR jobs where I traveled all the time, attended black-tie fundraisers, etc and now I wear sweatpants and tank tops and my hair is in a ponytail and I'm in flip flops everyday. Yes, it is an adjustment.... The lonely part is only a little hard. It doesn't consume me, but it is there. The good news is that now that Maya is a little bigger and she's gotten her vaccinations, I can venture out more into the world of "mommy and me" classes and new mommy luncheons I hear they have all over Manhattan.

My days consists of feedings, tummy time (she hates it!), and taking our 2 hour walks in the neighborhood or park, mixed in with lots of baby smiles and coos and storytelling and singing.

Some days we meet friends for lunch if they are off work or don't work. But otherwise, it can be very isolating on the days where we have no plans. Like tomorrow. What will we do tomorrow? Where will we walk to? The post office again? yay. :)

I'm not complaining! I love spending time with my baby and I do enjoy our days. It's the not having anyone to talk to all day that is the hard part....

I just need to find some new mommy friends and I know that will help a lot. It is by choice that I am staying home to raise her. I couldn't imagine it any other way. But like with any change, it takes time to get comfortable and I'm slowly getting there. It has only been 10 weeks after all, right? With every new job there is that 3 month probation period. So I think I'm doing pretty well and before I know it I won't be able to imagine any other way of life.

I know that I am very lucky to be in this position and watch Maya's personality change before my eyes. Everyday is a new expression, a new behavior (she just started sucking her fingers and entire hand too sometimes!) a new something or other and it's amazing. I think she knows who I am-- although she smiles at everyone, so I can't be sure. But I heard babies recognize voices so I'm hoping she knows me.

Regardless, I am her mother, and I feel like her mother especially when she's hungry and she looks at me with panting eyes, begging for food. And we walk over to our usual spot which she now knows, and she waits for me to unbuckle my nursing bra and her legs are flailing and she's panting some more, and then pop! She latches right on and her body relaxes and I watch her guzzle that milk, and she is happy and satisfied and nourished. I waited so long for this and there really is nothing I'd rather be doing....

Here's this week's fun photos! When I see this face, all that "lonely" talk goes out the window.