Cranky

I am so cranky today. I am annoyed at everyone. And I think to myself what a waste! Here I am, alive, in love, and I have the nerve to be cranky? I hate me.
Maybe today's acupuncture will help me. It's my 2nd time. I am in need of something to save me mentally. I am feeling like I'm spiralling downhill- I need some good news fast.
I long to be like a 5 year old child who can cry one minute over something that upset them, and then a few minutes later they are back to normal; playing, laughing. This is how I want to be. I don't want to dwell on my sorrows and wallow in my self-pity-- but it is so hard not to when disappointment comes month after month. Will I ever be a mother? Everyone is so sure--but me.