In Need of Some Magic...

I found out I wasn't pregnant yesterday. My heart is breaking and I keep wondering what did I do to deserve this? What do I need to do to let G-d know I am a good person, deserving of a child. These are the thoughts that my head is filled with.
Every month that goes by and I find that I'm not pregnant, my hopes get eaten up. Why does it feel like everyone around me is having babies without any struggles? Even women in their 40's. And here I am, 34, healthy, and nothing. I blame myself, and I feel huge amount of guilt because poor David has to suffer because of me. He wants to be a dad so much.
I pray that this will happen for us. I am going to a second fertility specialist on Monday, maybe he will have some answers or suggestions.
I guess I am writing about this on this blog in hopes that maybe somewhere out there in this world, someone might read this and tell me it's going to happen. Foolishly perhaps, I am looking for that magic wand.