32 Weeks and Time is Flying...

Here I am over 32 weeks pregnant with baby number two.

I am terrified.

How am I going to take care of an 18 month old and a newborn? I am interviewing babysitters, but still it is going to be HARD. I am trying to focus on the fact that these two children will have each other for life, will be the best of friends and in the long run, these first few months will be a blur in the scheme of life. I hope.

I am also scared of giving birth. Even though I have been there, done that, I know this pregnancy will be very different. I was so lucky with Maya. The Dr. broke my water, I was induced, had the epidural, took a 4 hour nap, woke up ready to push, and thirty minutes later out popped Maya's little head from my vajayjay (I had a mirror so I could watch everything!). It was truly such a life changing, amazing experience. It was the kind of thing that makes you feel like you can do ANYTHING after that. Man, I was on such a high.

So what will this delivery entail? I do know that right now my little is not so little at 4.8 pounds. And it is still breech. The Dr. told me not to worry, as most babies turn by 36 weeks. But I am a little worried. I don't want a C-section. Mostly because I have never been under, or numbed, and it all freaks me out. Plus, I just loved the experience of the vaginal birth. I actually enjoyed the process. Argh. It's just something I need to let go of and realize I have no control over how this will play out.

In the end, I just want a healthy pregnancy, a healthy delivery, and of course, a healthy baby.

Oh MY G-d. It is getting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close.

My life is about to change once more. I cannot wait to meet this baby that has been moving in my belly since week 14! And at the same time, I am not yet ready (mentally) for the big changes to come.

Just as I believed I would get pregnant one day, I have to believe that things will fall into place.

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy watching my volleyball of a belly continue to grow and bond with Maya as much as possible these next few weeks.

Yikes!